Behind Every Picture

The One With Slut Fucker's New Accomplice
I woke up the next day and to my surprise Fish Ann III was dead! I was so shocked! He was so healthy! I was very upset, but nothing in the world could do him any good. Prof. Form came over before he had to go to work later. At first I wanted to take him to see Stardust, but he did not feel like seeing a movie. Joe Toe called us and wanted to hang out. We told him to meet us at Papa Venio’s where we had chosen for lunch. We ended up at PetSmart first while we waited for Toe to arrive. Prof. Form looked at fish tanks. I couldn’t help but look at the Fish Ann’s. They were so pretty. But was I ready for another? None of them seemed to fit my need, until I saw this one… He was red, white, and blue. At that instant I named him Patriotic Fish Ann and wanted to buy him! Prof. Form told me that we could come back after lunch. We left PetSmart and ran into Old Navy. Toe called us and told us he would swing around and we could all drive over to Papa Venio’s together. During lunch ,all the two of them could do was color gay symbols on the table cloth with crayon. I was very embarrassed. I wanted them to stop, but they would not stop. Toe did not like his soup, but Prof. Form and I loved what we got. Our waitress was a doll to put up with us and all the drawings. I felt like I was surrounded by children! After we ate, we returned to PetSmart and I bought the newest fish in the line of fish ann’s Patriotic was now mine! Prof. Form had to get to work, so the three of us split.

Later that night I had agreed to help Form move some of Studli Form’s stuff from his place to the R house. That’s right, Studli Form was moving into the R household. As I killed time waiting for Form to get off work, I looked through my Myspace friends. I came to Slut Fucker’s profile. Did I know better then to click it? Yes. But I had to. Something inside me had to click it. The moment I saw it, I knew I should not have. On his main page he had a picture of Craig and then a picture of him and Craig and the caption read “My Accomplice and Everything”. I instantly closed the box and broke down. It was bad enough he had only pretended to care about me when he never really did, but now he was giving his new boyfriend the same nick names that he called me. I could never call someone else Puppy or Golden Form or any of the other names I had for him. I just couldn’t. But I guess to him, nick names can go from one to another. I was so pissed off. They made me so sick. I mean, he wasn’t even attractive! I finally dragged my form over to the R house. Woodward was a mess with people getting ready for the Annual Woodward Dream Cruise happening tomorrow. Form and I decided that we should take alternate routes to Studli’s apartment, and also to Blockbuster to return the movies. Down side roads we went, but still somehow got lost because someone told Form the wrong road to where Blockbuster was. It ended up taking an hour just to get to 12 and Catalpa! We listened to James call into Channel 955 and explain to Big Boy how he couldn’t have him if he wanted him. After finally dropping the movies off, we found our way to Studli’s without getting on Woodward to much. We went inside and moved what we could fit into the van. We decided that we would have to come back over the weekend for whatever else needed to be moved. We got back to the house, and unloaded the van. While Form was worried about moving in his boyfriend, I was simply excited for the Cruise and events of the following day!

Current Mood: disappointed

The One With Kristen R's Date
After work, I sped home to change, and then sped to R’s work to pick her up. Tonight was her night. Cronberger had canceled on me a couple hours prior, so it looked as though I was stuck with R and Kansas all night. I texted Form and made sure he could accompany me! R got in my car and we were off. She wore a black dress and looked more then ready to meet Kansas Casey. After her father’s death, she no longer took life for granted. The time she had was precious, and she was going to live life to the fullest. I started to think, in a city that moves so fast that they give you the Sunday paper on Saturday, how did any of us know how much time we had left? There was so much I hadn’t done…I had never been to Greece, I had never had put out an album, my visa bill still wasn’t paid in full, Hell sometimes I felt like I was barely living.

That night, R was feeling everything, fear, happiness, dread….but was she really ready for this? Was meeting random guys a huge mistake? And if it was, why was she so excited? She had never felt so confused. I knew this was her way of coping with her father’s death, but was it the right way? There was no more time to question, for I was now driving her straight to Casey. As I drove, however, one question stood out in my mind: In a world where everyone is dying to make a connection, can a relationship bring you back to life?

We got to the hotel, and I let her go upstairs, alone, to retrieve Kansas Casey. About 10 minuets later, I received a call from R telling me to come upstairs. 6 floors, and 2 groups of crazed black children later, I found myself at the hotel room door. I knocked, and 5 seconds later, Kansas Casey opened the door. 6 foot tall, 26 years old, and a bit portly, there he was. R totally out dressed him to say the least. Form called me and told me he was on the way back to the house. About 10 minuets later, the three of us were heading back toward the house with me behind the wheel. Casey sat in the back and the entire way home made comments about my driving AND acted like he knew where we were going more so then I did. This bugged me. I already did not like him.

We arrived back at the house finally, and I got out and ran to the basement to give Form the update. Casey was not allowed in the house, but R let him in anyway. I told Form how Casey had been making comments the entire ride. Form turned up the gay music full blast and changed into clothes that were more fag like. Finally we both walked upstairs and Form was introduced to Kansas Casey. We decided that we were all going to eat at Mountain King in Birmingham. We walked uptown and Form got a call from Mother R saying she would meet us up there. We walked up to Mountain King and Casey and R went in. Form and I waited as Mother R pulled up and walked inside with us so she could meet Kansas boy. R was more then a little shocked to see her, but it was rather funny. Our meal was not very good. I was very disappointed with the food at our old favorite Chinese place. Casey was trying to get on our good side, so he paid the entire bill.

We went back to the house, and I hung out with Form in the basement. R and Casey hung out upstairs. Toward the end of the night, I received a random text message “Did we really go a whole summer without hanging out?” It was from Anthony. I was more then a little shocked. R came up to me and asked me to drive her and Casey back to the hotel. I was really tired and told her no. Then she marched upstairs and tried talking her mom into letting her go alone. Meanwhile, I stayed downstairs and texted back and fourth with Anthony. Turns out he was leaving for Adrian College tomorrow. R came downstairs and told me she had lost the battle with her mother and that I had to drive her and Kansas Casey back to the hotel. I had her drive and I sat passenger and texted Anthony. We got to the hotel and instead of staying with her like I was suppose to, I let her be alone with her new boy. I tried to get Anthony to hang out, but in the end he shot me down. I returned home, and after talking to Anthony a bit longer, I passed out in my bed.

Current Mood: giddy

The One With My Bad Day
I figured after my good deed last night, that today would be rewarding and pleasant, but no. At work my boss and I got in trouble because I forgot about these people’s order and they ended up waiting a half hour. To make it worse, they reported both my manager and I to higher management, which called us into the back office claiming that my manager yelled at me and we were fighting in front of customers, which was not at all true! So we both got reprimanded. Later, when I got home I found out my dad rented Rent. After two years of making sure Beeb and Hubbard did not see Rent, finally, Beeb had found a way to get his hands on the film. There was no stopping him now. I was screwed. The one good thing that happened was I finally booked a date with Alan Cronberger! He told me we could go out to dinner Thursday night in RO and then Friday, we could go to Necto. I was very excited. My first real date since Slut Fucker! I beelined out of my house and headed to R’s. R was more then excited because her current crush Casey, who by the way lived in Kansas, would be here Thursday as well to spend the weekend with her. She had been talking to Casey on World of Warcraft for quite some time, and now they were to meet. Mother R was not on bored for this, and neither was Form or I for that matter. Mother R told R that Casey was not allowed in the house, and she was already running a background check on him with the SSN and photo ID that he sent R. R asked me if I could pick her up from work and drive her to Casey’s hotel. I told her I would, but that I had my date with Cronberger, so I could not go out to dinner or anything. She was disappointed, but she understood. This would be interesting to see how this would all play out…

Current Mood: stressed

The One With The Aids Donation
Today would mark the 6 month anniversary of my friend Ryan’s sister’s death. She died from complications with HIV on the day before Valentines Day. Tonight, I was planning on donating money to the charity Ryan set up in her honor and also lighting a candle in her honor as well. But before any of that could go down, I was frantically trying once again to falsify documents of my grade transcripts to send to the insurance company in an attempt to get put back on the insurance before they found out about my latest ticket. Where else would I go to falsify documents, none other then James’s house. I had him try to help me. He told me I would have to re type the whole document. That was exactly what I did, but somehow, it was all uneven. I could not for the life of me get it even to where the insurance company would believe me. James’s friend Candace came over to help clean up James’s room for the re model, but that didn’t end up happening. We chilled for a while, and then James and Candace left to pick up Quinn. I stayed behind to try and make my new transcript look real. The time ticked away, and finally I decided to leave James’s and head over to R’s for dinner. Mother R had made pasta and garlic bread, which was very delicious. After eating with the gang, and hanging out for a bit, I went to Meijer to buy a candle that I would light in Ryan’s sisters honor. I found a rather large candle and bought it. I got home by 11:30, and went to the donation website. On the site there were choices for amounts I could donate. I decided since it was Ryan, that I would donate $100 and light that candle. The candle ended up staying lit for three days and three nights. It was amazing.

Current Mood: cheerful

The One With All The Tubing
After work, I had plans with Joe, but he cancelled because he was not feeling well. I was invited Tubing on Cass Lake with Form and MA, and I said yes right away! I got to the house where Form filled me in on the events of the night after I left. He told me that Wailyn had shown up at his house randomly in the middle of the night, and tried to sleep with him, but he did not let it happen. He told us he also woke up to Wailyn jacking off in the other bed. I could not believe it. MA showed up and brought us lunch. After that, the three of us headed out to the lake. First we picked up the boat from MA’s infamous business partner, Jason Jorge. I was half narced for this process. By the time I awoke, we had got the boat, and Form was pushing it into the water via the truck. After it was in, we were off. As we picked up speed, I decided to text Asshole and inform him I was in Waterford on one of his lakes. He told me he was packing up and getting ready to move into his dorm. I had not gone tubing in ages, yet I loved it. Getting on that tube and pulled was more fun then I had remembered! After I went, Form got on. He ended up breaking out tube, and leaving us tubeless. We called an old friend of MA’s, Hooks Ann. Hooks Ann told us he would meet us on the lake, and bring a two person tube. In the mean time, we parked at the dock, and ordered carry out pizza. As usual, I was the one to foot the bill for the food. After we ate, we drove the boat back to the other dock to pick up Hooks Ann and his friend. They climbed aboard and we hooked up the two person tube. Form and I instantly got back on. Time after time, we tried various positions and ways to stay on, and each time ended with us falling off, and almost loosing our swim wear. Even when I held on tight, the tide still over took me and I flipped off. The last time we did it, I, in an attempt to hold on, knocked Tall Form off completely! He was sore the next day, I was just, however, tired. We turned in, and it took a while for us to get the boat back on the truck and then parked back in Jason’s driveway. Driving home, Form found out that there was indeed a rumor going around that Wailyn slept with him last night and that he had a small uncut cock…how strange lol! On the way home, Tall Form called Paul and tried telling him not to go to dinner with Wailyn the next day. I sat there and felt depressed because it was all my fault that Paul had been pulled into all this gay madness to begin with. Later on, I tried to apologize via a Myspace comment, but he never returned my apology…I also talked to Cronberger, who said he was mad that we didn’t invite him tubing with us and that he would have gone had we asked him. I decided that I was glad he didn’t because I didn’t want his first image of me to be with my shirt off.

Current Mood: accomplished

A night Out At the Street!
After work, I had plans with Glenda. I also had plans for the bar with the gang. I decided to have Glenda come with us to the bar. Robbi and Form had made up after their fight, and both agreed to give in a little. Form loved the bar from time to time, and Robbi finally agreed to go. Glenda ended up backing out last minute, due to get new job at Speedway calling her in. So it was. R, Tall Form, Studli Form and myself off to Backstreet. First we stopped at White Castle because R simply NEEDED food. We entered backstreet and found MA bartending the back patio. I was pissed because MA refused to give me free drinks. As the night went on, Form got more and more drunk. Robbi and I danced together and then Form and I danced together. While Form and I were dancing, this fat guy came up to us random and asked Tall Form if he was me. He told them I was me. They guy said Hi and walked away. So Strange! The sad part of this was that Form danced with me, Robbi danced with me, but they did NOT dance with each other! Form got upset and drank more. By the end of the night, he told us to leave without him and that he would have Backstreet’s slut, Angel ie Waylin drop him off later. R refused to let this happen and tried talking some sense into him. I tried talking to him and then overheard Waylin speak for the first time in my life. I had just also discovered that he was a Texas native. Listening to him talk, he still had his southern accent. I told Form I thought it was kinda hot, and he overheard. The first words out of his mouth “sorry, we are not sleeping together”. This insulted me more then anything had in a long time! # 1, JUST because I say you have a cute accent, does NOT mean I want in your pants. #2, you are a total whore, and I don’t sleep around with whores! Finally we got Form to go home with us. I dropped them all at the house, and went home to get some sleep before work the next morning…

Current Mood: tired

Going Nowhere
Tonight R and I had plans to take her cousin Nikki to see a movie. We decided to see Stardust. On the way to R’s house, I was driving down Adams as usual, and turned onto Lincoln. Donna Summer’s “I’m coming out” came on the radio and I decided to show my pride and blast it and rock out. Suddenly, behind me, I see headlights! I was getting pulled over! It was the middle of the afternoon and I was getting pulled over! The cop was a real bitch! I guess I was doing 40 in a 25! He gave me a ticket for 5 over. I couldn’t believe I got pulled over in the middle of the afternoon! I got to R’s and felt a bit down. After R talked to her Kansas boy on WOW, we were finally ready to go. We got uptown and invited Form and Studli Form to join us. They said they would, but ended up seeing a movie in the theatre next to us. Stardust was a 10 out of 10. I thought it was very well done, and a perfect story! After the movie, R and I went to the Lounge to wait for Form and Studli to get out of their movie. When we arrived, I saw someone that I had not seen since last summer. Jessi Hester. We had been great high school friends, and since then, she had become very successful in the advertising world. I didn’t know if I should go up to her at first, but finally I did. She was overly happy to see me. R said she was leaving, and I told her I would walk back to the house. She left with Nikki and I continued my conversation with Jessi. I found out she was moving to NYC tomorrow to pursue modeling. She was only 19, and had gone from MI, right to Chicago, and now to NYC. She was more successful then I had been thus far. When she asked what I was doing, I had nothing. What did I have to show for being out of HS 3 years?! No graduation, no degree, nothing. I felt so small sitting there next to her in that chair. Right when I was about to burst, In walked Tall Form to my rescue. He talked with Jessi and I and then headed back to the house. I told him I would be along shortly.

After talking with Jessi a little longer, we both got up and went out separate ways. I walked back to the house, more depressed then ever. Right out of HS, she had had it all. Good school, good carrier, something to really show for her efforts. I had nothing. One year at a university, and then 2 at a community college! Working at K Mart making jack shit? I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t have a good path I was going down, and further more I did not have a good relationship to fall back on. At that point I decided, I was done with Michigan. I had lived my life here 21 years, and now it was time to move on and take risks and accomplish something. I was done. I was 3 three years out of HS, and I needed something to show for it. I got back to the house where Form and Studli were at each others throats again. Form went as far as to throw the computer outside and in the trash. This upset Studli greatly. R and I tried to talk to him about their issues, and I saw things from both sides.. R went inside and I stayed outside and got into another talk with Studli about culture of the 90’s. Finally Form came out. It was clear they needed to talk, and there I was. I quickly had James call me to tell me something bad happened, and I beelined. I stopped by the Holiday Inn Express, like I promised Ted I would. I told him of my situation and he tried his best to calm me down. I didn’t get home until 4 am. What a night!

Current Mood: discontent

When Nick Met The Bald Form
Tonight I wanted to go to Menjos as always, but the Married Man did not call me. This meant that I had a week free of him, and had to find someone else to go with. I asked my friend Colin, who I was suppose to meet up with there anyway, if I could go with him, but he shot me down. At last second, I managed to get Nick Sollars to agree to go with me. On my way to his house, he called me and asked me if Tony could come with us. I said Ok. I picked up Sollars and then Tony. Tony drove to Menjos. On the way there, Home Wrecker called me and told me that he and his crew were going to Menjos as well. I told him I would see him there! We get there and like always look for people we know. Sollars and I found The Royals and the shot boy that I kissed, found me again. I found out his name was Jerry! Yes, I know, oh my, I kissed a Jerry! We talked with Jerry for a while, and Tony said some things that were unappreciated! I decided to break away from my friends and go find Home Wrecker and Colin. I found Home Wrecker and went up to him. He was semi drunk, and still drinking. I hung out with him, until I saw Colin and finally managed to go up to him and have an exchange. It went well, and he was actually quite cute. He said he had lost his friends that drove him, and I offered him a ride home. I went back to Home Wrecker, then tried to dance with him a little. As we danced, I knew he was drunk, and I was prepared for what may happen. Finally it did. He started to kiss me. He was not that great of kisser. This really took the cake! There was nothing that great about him! What did Slut Fucker see in him?! The only thing I could think of is that he is Mexican! After dancing with Home Wrecker, I noticed that it was getting late. I tried to find Tony and Sollars, but couldn’t. My phone had died, so it was no help to me. Finally I found them. They were together, making out on the dance floor. Tony had even removed his glasses! He was really getting into it. I wanted to stop them because I wanted to leave, but something inside me just could not be the bad guy. I went and found Jerry and told him what was going on, simply because I had no one else. 10 minuets later, Tony and Sollars found me and I told them I needed to say bye to Home Wrecker and Colin. After finding both of them, I had trouble finding Tony and Sollars again! I found them eventually, and we drove back home!
When I got home and turned my phone back on, I had a text from Home Wrecker saying "When are we going on a real date?" I didnt respond to that! What a night!

Current Mood: envious

A Day Out With The Studli Form
Today I ran around with Studli Form all day. Waking him up by noon was the hardest part. I had to throw NiblAR and the kittens on top of him before he woke up. I managed to get him up and we decided to walk to Leo’s for breakfast. We sat and ordered. I ordered an Omelet with cheese, and only got a regular omelet. Also my toast was hard, tasted very old . Robbi had black spots in his butter, and it was almost impossible to get refills on our drinks! I asked for cheese in my omelet. The waitress took the omelet, put cheese in it, heated it for 40 seconds and brought it back to me. It was GROSS! I refused to eat it. Not only was our food in question, but there was also a dispute between a cook and a waitress causing an uproar in the restaurant. The waitress (who was a forehead) got mad at the Mexican cook, so the cooked slid the food very fast down the line and it landed on the waitress’s shoe. The waitress picked up the plate and threw it at the cook! Everyone looked over, at the fight. The manager told them to take it outside. 10 minuets later, the woman came back in with food in her hair and down her shirt! She was then asked to leave. 7 minuets later, she enters again, this time with her friend. She tried talking to the manager, but the manager told her to go home. So she left. The police showed up, and started to question the cook and the manager. The waitress re enters a THIRD time so the police can talk to her. 10 minuets later, she exits again, and told her only table that someone would be with them. Robbi and I got out of there quickly, and didn’t leave any tip! We called Form to tell him of what just happened, but he thought Robbi was just whining, and so he started a fight. Robbi and I walked back to the house and I went with him to his bank our in St. Clair Shores so he could make his car payment and pay his credit card. We then went back to his place so he and Michael could settle some money issues. I narced on the bed, until Robbi woke me up and told me we were going back to the house for dinner. We drove back to the house, to where Cheeseburgers were being cooked for dinner. After a hearty meal, we played Nintendo, as always until Form and Robbi wanted to go to bed.

Current Mood: busy

Slut Fucker's Leap of Friendship
I woke up on Form’s couch after a rough night of sleeping. R was already awake, and so was Form. Form and I made bacon and eggs for breakfast. He made the eggs, and I cooked the bacon. We made quite a team, and made a very delicious breakfast for us all. After we all ate, I stayed at the house for a few more hours. R asked me to join her for a smoke outside. I did so, and she said to me "So are you going to get Robbi a gift?" I was so taken by this, that I didnt know what to say. I lied and said "Yeah, yeah". How dare she! Who did she think she was! I was tempted to say "Are you gonna EVER pay me back OR get me a gift?!" That really pissed me off!

Two hours later, I headed on my way to visit ailing James in the Hospital. Glenda was on her way as well, and was meeting me up there. I got to the hospital and managed to find parking, despite there being some sort of picnic going on. James called and demanded I bring him Starbucks and told me exactly what he wanted. After getting him Starbucks, I managed to find his room. There he was, naked, covered, and strapped down to the bed. With him, sat Victoria, his sit in nurse. Even though he was hospitalized, he was still is same self. He was calling demanding hot cookies and trying to get Victoria to get a key to get him out of his chains. They had him. Then he told me how he fired his doctor because he didn’t like him. They thought he was crazy because he had overdosed and it looked like he was trying to kill himself. On top of that, I guess he tried to escape because he was scared. Tina got there, and really didn’t know what to do. James kept trying to get his chains off so he could use the bathroom and shower, but the people would not come to unlock him. Glenda arrived, and James demanded hospital gifts from her. That pissed her off. The longer we sat there the more irritated with his behavior we became. Glenda went with Tina to get James some clothes. I stayed behind while James had the cable guy try to get an internet connection. When they could got get the internet on one TV, they managed to get it on the other, and move James to the other bed. Glenda and Tina got back and I started texting Glenda telling her it was time to go. Finally the doctor came in and told her they found him a bed at this Psyc hospital in Ferndale. James told the doctor he did not want that bed, and wanted a different bed in another hospital. The doctor told him that he cant refuse a bed once one opened up. James went in circles with her trying to get her to do an evaluation on him so he could be free from the chains. She was getting tired of his words, and Glenda and I were tired period. Finally we agreed it was time to leave, and we left.

Later that night, I was sitting at home when I got a call. I looked at my phone and it said Slut Fucker was calling me!! I pick it up and he asked me what I was doing. I told him nothing. He asked me if I wanted to hang out. I wanted to say no, but part of me was bored, and I knew that if Form were in this situation, he would say yes. So I said ok. He told me he would meet me at our old meeting place, CVS. The last thing he said to me pissed me off greatly.. “Oh, you know this is just as friends, right?, I don’t want you back” I couldn’t believe he said that! Despite that I was pissed, I simply said “YEAH, I know” and hung up and hurried to shower, and make myself look HOT. When I got out of the shower, I had missed 6 calls from him, and had two voicemails. I called him back, but his phone was off. Finally I get a call from his house number. He starts screaming into the phone. I told him “DO NOT YELL AT ME” “You LOST that right a LONG time ago”. I was even more pissed at this point! He told me how his brother just took his car and how his phone was dying and his charger was at his boyfriends house and how his boyfriend would not let him come over because he was sick. He proceeded to tell me how he was mad at all his friends and mad at the pool and that this was his last year at the pool. He told me “my boyfriend is the only good thing I have going for me right now, I like live with my boyfriend, but he wont let me come over tonight” I was secretly hoping his boyfriend was cheating, and told him he should bike to his boyfriends house to get his charger if that’s where he knew it was. But hearing things were going good with his boyfriend only hurt me more. He then said we should try and see a movie. We picked the movie and he picked the theatre closest to him, Star Fairlane. The problem was, his brother took his car, and it was already getting late. He told me by the time I would get there, it would be too late, and I would not be able to get down Michigan Ave if I tried because of Homecoming Festival. It suddenly came flashing back to me. Homecoming festival. That’s where I was one year ago tonight, there, in Dearborn with him. Form, Geoff, and TylAR were also with us that night. I remembered how much fun we had and how much he use to care about me. It saddened me. He told me he was tired and that he was mad at the world and didn’t want to talk to anyone. I reminded him he was talking to me. He said “oh you are ok”. So I guess when the rest of the world is gone, he runs to me. Then he told me “Oh, well we tried to hang out, maybe next weekend will work better”. I let him go to sleep and hung up with him. I was upset, and when Geoff called me, agreed to go to his work and get some of his stuff. At about 12:30, it began to pour very hard, and not even Rehinna’s umbrella could fight off this storm. Even in the pouring rain, I managed to drive to Geoff’s work, and get some of the stuff from his car and put it in my car. I then went to Meijer and got gas and a CD…I finally made it home and went to bed…..

Current Mood: aggravated

Glenda and Robbi's Parties
After a long day at work, I hurried over to Glenda’s for his Bday party. James had called me at 5 am telling me how he was hooked up to all these machines and still sounded very out of it. Glenda and I had gotten more calls from him telling us how he was tied down and how they thought he was crazy. He was practically crying and we told him we would visit him later on in the night after Glenda’s party. Glenda had me drink up, but I couldn’t get too drunk, because it was also Studli Form’s 24th Bday today! We had plans to go see the Simpson’s Movie. I had Glenda make me three drinks. I also ate a hot dog, and some chips, and accidentally threw her car keys in the trash because I was buzzed. After chillin with her and her family, including Sister Sister, and her from Hoggie, I drove, a tad buzzed to Star Southfield. After I got there, I suddenly remembered where Glenda’s keys were and called her to confess. 5 minuets later, the gang showed up, along with Robbi’s friend Evita. Because Form’s passes did not work for the movie, I ended up paying for everyone’s ticket, and R said she would go in half way with me. On top of the tickets, R made me buy popcorn and a drink, which cost $10. She also demanded she get chocolate, which was another $5. I was not happy that my money was once again being put forward. The movie was actually pretty good, short, but funny. I narced, and missed some of it, but still saw most of it. After the movie, we headed back to the house. I got there first and went downstairs and played Mario 2. R and Form came running downstairs with presents they were wrapping for Robbi. I knew Tall Form got him stuff, obviously, but then R had also gotten him clothes. I was really a bit taken back. They never told me that they were going shopping for Robbi, AND now they were insisting that they give him gifts at midnight, right in front of me, and make me look like the bad guy! I was not happy. I tried to avoid being in the room, but in the end, I could not. After Robbi opened his gifts, R suddenly said “hey, TJ, show everyone what I bought you as an early bday gift”. Form proceeded to go over to his clothing rack and pull out a purple shirt and tie. Now I was really pissed. R had bought Robbi a gift and TJ an early gift! What did she get me for my bday? NOTHING, and what did I get her, lets see, a 5th of Captain, a double shot glass, and took her to a concert. AND did she not still owe me money from Chicago, did not they all still owe me money from Chicago?! I was extremely pissed off. I called all my other friends to vent. Glenda and I agreed that we could not get to James tonight, but tomorrow we would go. For the rest of the night, I stayed calm and just played Nintendo. I ended up falling asleep on Form’s couch…..

Current Mood: aggravated

A Night Out With Toe and Home Wrecker
After I woke up from sleeping 14 hours, I got a surprise call from Joe Toe. Toe told me he was going to Sommerset and that I should meet him. I showered and got dressed and hurried over to Sommerset. Toe and I walked around and he looked at clothes. We went into the Apple Store, simply so we could touch the I phone. We decided to get dinner at CPK. We ordered a stirfry and I ordered a $7 drink that was like some tornado twister thing. It was very good, but not worth $7! Our food was good, but the waitress lost tip because she at first told me I was not of age to order drinks! Toe and I agreed to meet up at the bar later that night. I had to go home, and he had to 7 mile to get his money someone owed him. We decided to go to the one bar that I hate going to. The place that I hate. The Gay Bar of Broken Dreams. I was scared shitless I was going to see Slut Fucker. I really only agreed to go because Home Wrecker had begged me. I hurried home to have dinner # 2. After my second meal of the night, Form kept calling me and asking me to come over. I, however, had to wait because Prof. Form was coming over to use my shower. After Prof. Form showered and got ready for work, I was able to go to the R house. I walked in and smelled weed. Mrs. R, along with their friends Pam and Laura were smoking it up. I met Tall Form’s co worker Stacy, who I had heard much about. I also heard that Ty had been saying some not so nice stuff about me at the workplace. After hanging out with them for a while, I left, saying I was tired. I really, though, was headed to Gigi’s to meet up with Toe and Home Wrecker. When I walked in, the first person I saw was Caddy. He was about to do his nightly strip show to a Panic at the Disco song. I watched him do his thing, and then, as I looked around, I saw Toe. He was shirtless and just having a good time. I said Hi to him and told him I would find him later. I had to find Home Wrecker. I ran into Brian McCulla and tried my best to avoid him after a simple “Hello”. I watched Nickoli and Caddy dance and finally I spotted Home Wrecker! I went up to him and he was drunk off his ass! He put his arm around me and for the first time I was able to get close to him. I felt him up and down and then realized that he did not have a six pack! In fact, when it came down to it, he and I had the same body! He was my body twin! Now I really did not know what Slut Fucker ever saw in him. He introduced me to his friends and then went to dance with some guy. One of his friends asked me “how do you know Rich?” Oh boy! When I told him, he gave me the “What the fuck” look, as usual when I tell that story. I went to look for Toe. I found him and got on stage and danced with him. I was scared that Slut Fucker would walk in, but then I thought “Why am I scared?, I’m dancing with Toe, one of the hottest people in this bar!” I was fine! At about 1:45, I left. As I left I realized I did not only hate that bar for personal reasons, but it was small, and not really my crowd of people. I decided once again, to avoid that bar whenever I could. James had been calling and texting me all night. I called him back and he told me he had overdosed and that I needed to come and take him to the hospital. I thought this was just a stupid cry for help and I told him to go to bed. He kept right on telling me how he needed to go to the ER. I don’t know what it was, but something inside me made me drive out to his house, and take him to Troy Beaumont. He was very out of it when he got in my car. I called Jeremy asap and had him talk to James until we got to the hospital. I told James I could not stay because I had to work in the morning. The last time I saw him, he was being wheeled away in a wheel chair….

Current Mood: aggravated

Jeremy's Open Talk
Today was my friend Jeremy’s very first open talk. He was very nervous and excited at the same time. I told him I would go and support him. He asked me my advice on what he should wear, and finally picked the shirt and tie that totally said “Valentines Day”. To Plymouth I drove, and got a little lost, but then managed to find the place. I was very nervous because I had never been to an open talk, let alone any sort or NA or AA meeting for that matter. I walked up the stairs and then into the room. There was Jeremy along with his sponsor and other people who were all users. I sat next to Jeremy and somewhat clinged to him. More people kept walking in. Normal, everyday looking people. I was shocked that these average looking people all used. I felt so alone and out of place among all these users. The lady in charge gave me one of the user cards to read to start the meeting, and Jeremy told her I did not use. It didn’t help me though that I had just came from my new doctor, and he took blood, so my arm was bandaged up, and it looked like I had been shooting up! At 3:00, after going through the opening regular speeches about being an addict, Jeremy began his talk. He told his whole story about everything. It lasted about a half hour, and was very inspirational and moving. He did perfect and managed not to cry. When it was over, we were free to leave. I was headed to Glenda’s house, and I could tell Jeremy was going to spend the night with his Robot Robert who he loved very much. I went to Glenda’s and we went to dinner at the place that Animal and her and I had ate at late one night over a year ago. The Food was not that good, and there were many fly anns flying around. A lady got mad that Glenda was smoking and she got told to put it out. The service was bad, and the waitress did not get a tip. I dropped Glenda off, and ended up going home and sleeping for 14 hours…..

Current Mood: cranky

An R Passes pt. 3
Today was many things, maybe too many things. Glenda was finally 21, and very much enjoying being able to buy. While she got drunk at the beach, I sat down at my computer and talked to Ohio Ryan before court. He convinced me to play online pool against his 11 yr old brother Brandon. I had some trouble loading the program, but once I got that down, I was able to play. I pretty much sucked at it, and lost to Brandon every time. After three games, I needed to hurry up and get ready to meet Slut Fucker at the Dearborn court house. I quickly got ready and headed out. Slut Fucker and I pulled into the courthouse at the same time. I was blasting “Pieces” by Linkin Park because it was a good “I hate Slut Fucker song”. At this point, I was more nervous about seeing Slut Fucker then I was about Court. Finally I took a breath and got out of the car. I smiled and said Hi to him. We walked in together and then found the court room. We waited outside for my lawyer to show. We sat with our arms crossed not talking. Finally Slut Fucker started asking filler questions to pass the time. At 1:50, Slut Fucker saw Leah and her mother go into another court room. This meant one strike against me because she actually showed up. Slut Fucker got scared and told me that maybe its in another room, but I told him that was impossible because my judges room was the one we were outside of. Leah and her mother found their way to the right court room, stayed inside about 10 minuets and then walked out. I sent Slut Fucker in to wait, incase anything happened, but they sent him back out because he was only a witness. I went in and waited while foreheads got tried. Slut Fucker entered the room with another man and told me that this man was my stand in lawyer. This somewhat pissed me off because my lawyer was not even going to show up. This man told me he was going to meet with the district attorney and see what was happening. Slut Fucker and I sat tight in the court room and watched more people get sentenced. Finally my new lawyer came back and told us to follow him. We went outside the court room where he told us I had two options. The first was to plead to a partial speeding ticket where I would get one point. The other option was to go against the judge and I would tell my side of the story, and Leah would tell hers, and it was up to the judge to decide who to believe. If he found me guilty, then I would get 3 points and a $350 dollar fine. My new lawyer stepped back and said “you guys decide”. There I was. Alone. The only person there to help me decide what to do was the one person I wanted no help from at all.

I didn’t know what to do. I was forced to give in. I threw up my arms and said “Brian, what do I do?”. I had lost all my dignity, it felt like. Slut Fucker went on to tell me that Dearborn did not care who was wrong, they just wanted my money. He also told me that with my driving record, I would be found guilty, and it was a risk. He said I should take the one point, but that would mean admitting I was wrong, when I was not wrong! Finally we deiced to ask my new lawyer what to do. He said I should take the one point. As much as I wanted to go before the judge, I was already running late for the pre funeral gathering, and I couldn’t stay much longer. I finally just agreed to take the one point and the $150 dollar fine. The worst part was that they had Leah in the room having to say “Yes that’s ok he only gets one point”. I was very angry. On the way out Slut Fucker tried telling me that it had been a good day, when really it had not. I walked him back to his car and I still looked pissed off. He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and said “I love you like a friend”. Then he said “its good we got to see each other, even if it was in court”. He got into his car. I still looked upset. Then he says to me “ohh What’s wrong?” , in the voice I always use to ask him in. I smiled, but that was it. Then he said “Ohhh Puppy” At that, I froze. I could not believe he had just said that. What came next was even worse. “Say Oh puppy”, he said. I continued to stand still as if my body was there, but my soul was elsewhere. Finally I choked out “I forget how”. Then he said “Just cause we are broken up doesn’t mean we cant joke”. Finally I gave in and said “Oh puppy. I turned to quickly leave, and then he turned on his car. That’s when I heard it. Rebelde singing “Tu Amor”, one of OUR songs. This meant that it was playing on his way INTO the court room. So he was listening to one of our love songs, and I was listening to one of my “I hate you” songs. I quickly left and headed to Mr. R’s funeral.

Animal called and told me that she was in fact coming to the funeral. I got to the funeral home and talked with R and Form and some people who had already arrived. R informed me that Matt had shown up at 4 am, and slept in his car. He was not at the funeral home because he was back at the house helping out with the catering and everything else, and helping keep the family at ease. Robbi arrived, and finally so did Animal. Fine Form and Davie showed up too. R read to me her speech that she had written to present at the service. The room was full of flowers and pictures of Mr. R and his family at various stages of his life. 45 minuets, and one McDonalds run later, it was time for the service to begin. The pastor spoke, and then Mr. R’s brother gave a speech. His sister also spoke and talked about how even though he was small, he always over came obstacles. The last to speak was R. She read her speech and managed not to cry. The whole thing lasted only 45 minuets, but it was very nice. After the service, we went back to the house for the wake. Matt had done an excellent job of setting up the catering. There was so much food. All different sandwiches as well as drinks and salads and everything! It was wonderful. Mrs. R was amazed at how many people showed up. It was very nice and respectful. I was surprised at how well the everyone was holding it together. As the night went on, we made the unified choice to go swimming at Fine Form’s grandma’s pool. Animal left, but the rest of us headed to swim. The pool was nice and Robbi and I had fun getting our noodles going. Fine Form hit on everyone that night from Tall From to Mrs. R!! It was very strange! After we got done swimming, we went back to the house, and I left because I was exhausted after my long day. What a day!

Current Mood: gloomy

An R Passes pt. 2
Today was the private viewing for Mr. R and then the somewhat pre wake following. I ran around trying to buy clothes to wear tonight, and to court tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the biggest day of the week. I had court with Slut Fucker, as well as Mr. R’s funeral, and it was Glenda’s 21st. After buying some nice clothes, I went home and got ready for the viewing. I told Animal I would meet her at her apartment, and then we would go. On the way to Animal’s, Form called me and told me to meet him at the house. I pulled up at Animals and got another call from Form saying that we were to go to the house and wait, simply wait. I didn’t know what was going on, so I tried stalling Animal. While I was at Animal’s, Beeb called and told me that Slut Fucker and I had to be at the court house at 1:30 tomorrow. I called Slut Fucker and left him a voicemail. Animal and I finally went on our way to the R house. I called Form again, and got the same response of “go to the house and wait in my room”. We were about two blocks from the house when Robbi called us and asked where we were. He apparently was told to go to the house as well. Animal and I got there, and found Robbi. The three of us waited and wondered why where everyone was. We decided that something MAY have gone wrong with the funeral home or even worse, the body! We didn’t know what to think. After about a half hour, people started to return to the house. There we were, and there everyone else was. They had all just came from the funeral home, and the three of us were the strangers that didn’t go to the viewing, and simply were at the pre wake. Form got home, and we still didn’t get a clear answer as to why we were not welcome at last minute. People started arriving from every direction. We all ate the food and talked. Animal and I were able to tell everyone “oh we have been friends with Kristen since 6th grade”, so that helped us out! The person that really didn’t look to happy about things was Kristen’s grandma. She looked very pissed off about things. I tried to avoid her. The pastor came over, and had a talk with Mrs. R and Kristen’s grandparents on the couch. As Form, Robbi, Animal, R and I ate, I made the mistake of drinking white and red wine, and then a vodka and cranberry. Little did I know that if you drink wine before liquor, you will have never been sicker! I felt very queasy and ended up throwing up. After that I felt a little better. Slut Fucker called and told me he would see me tomorrow at 1:30! Oh Boy! I had just been drunk at a pre wake, and then talked to Slut Fucker about how I was to see him tomorrow. This was a great night so far! After the party died down, we were informed that Kristen’s mother and Grandma were in a fight over the ashes of Mr. R. Kristen’s mom had to buy two earns and one had to be bigger. I guess Kristen’s grandma had said she wanted the bigger earn. Not only that, she wanted Kristen’s mother to pay to have her earn put in the ground. We decided that we would give the Grandmother a tee spoon of the ashes and then some vacuum dust with it. Animal and I left around midnight, and I barely slept a wink that night thinking of the big day tomorrow.

Current Mood: drunk

An R Passes pt. 1
It started out as a normal day at the R household. 6:30, Form was up getting ready, as was R. R was being slow as usual, and in the end, her and Form were running a bit late for work. They got to work, and R started her training. She was in training with the one and only, my ex friend Ty from 2004. I received that text at about quarter to 9 and was somewhat taken back. I woke up, and sat online. I received a call from Cat asking what my address is for an application. Back at the R house, it was a normal day as well. Scott sat in his room, and the nurse, as well as Mrs. R was looking after Mr. R. Mr. R’s mother was over visiting as well. Finally around 11:30, Mrs. R had to get ready to head out and go to the office. Once she left, Mr. R passed out again. He had already passed out twice that morning, and this was a little much. The nurse took one look at him and realized that this was it. He would not make it through the day. They deiced to call Mrs. R back to the house. She was only at 16 and Crooks, but turned around and got home. Mrs. R got home just in time, and just a little after 12:00 pm, just like that, Mr. R was gone.

I got a call from R herself asking me to pick her up and take her home because something happened to her dad. Form overheard and decided that he was part of the family too, and that they would both leave. I waited at home for an update, but I knew in my heart the worst had happened. At 2:08, I received the text from R “My Daddy is gone”. I decided that I would wait for an okay from them to head over, and instead I would go to school and pay for my classes. On the way to school, I saw Robbi driving up Woodward in his Mustang. I tried calling him, but he didn’t answer. I went to school and paid for my classes. I got a call from Form saying how they were going back to work, even though her dad had died. I spent the afternoon in Birmingham waiting for them to call. I started informing people. I called Animal and Animal thought we should make food for them. We could not decide for the life of us what to do. Finally around 8, R called me and told me they were having a memorial with the neighbors. I headed over. I called Animal and had her be on her way as well. I got to the block memorial just as it was coming to an end. We went back to the house and Animal came over. There was plenty of food and I heated Animal and I a mini chicken. We all sat downstairs and talked about the day. Mrs. R joined us and decided to smoke. R told us that tomorrow there was going to be a private viewing for the family and close friends. Animal and I had the day off, so we decided that we would go. We stayed and talked a while longer, then decided to leave for the night.

Current Mood: sad

Windsor Pride
I woke up on Form’s couch. Form and I found we were out of breakfast food, and decided that instead of cooking, we would go out to eat at Leo’s. We told Studli Form that we were going out. We even invited him, but he turned us down. Out we went and headed to Leo’s. As we sat and ate, Robbi kept calling us asking where we were. Then he got mad because he said he was not invited. Well that was bullshit, because we did invite him. He kept calling Form and the two of them just ended up fighting. I invited Form to Windsor pride later that day. We called Prof. Form, and told him we may go. After breakfast, Form and I went to get a memory card for his PS2. Then we headed back to the house. I played Mario 2 for a while, until I had to go to work at 4. At work, we had an order for 70 pizzas! 70! I couldn’t believe it! On my break, I found out that Form and Robbi were not going with me to Windsor pride because “Robbi did not want to”. This really pissed me off because I knew Form was not going simply because Robbi was not going. I quickly called Glenda, and at last minute she said she could go. After work, I hurried home and changed. Then I headed to Glenda’s to pick her up. Prof. Form kept calling me asking where I was, I kept lying and saying I was closer then I really was. On the way to Canada, I found out that Kyle had been really talking to Glenda a lot and she liked the attention. It was quite amusing. We tried taking the tunnel to Canada, but only found the bridge instead. At border Patrol, they asked us why Glenda was driving my car, and I told them it was because I could not hear. They let us in, and we were off. We called Geoff for directions on where to park, but I didn’t understand where he was telling me to go. Glenda and I ended up parking in the Casino parking structure for free. After getting into the casino, we met Geoff outside one of the doors. He took us over to pride. He could not, however, get us in for free. We first went and paid for drink tickets, which we exchanged for different kinds of drinks. There were not that many hot people there. I looked for people I knew, but didn’t see anyone. I texted Asshole to see if he and his Canadian boyfriend were going to show, but he was working. After a few drinks we mingled with the crowed. We met this really hot guy, who liked going to Backstreet. I told him how I always get in free there. We went and said Hi to Nick as well. Glenda got a call from Kyle, and Geoff took my phone and called this guy he wanted to go on a date with. I guess he realized that he needed a back up incase the Nick thing didn’t work out, again. The night went on, and Geoff was very drunk and entertaining Glenda. The more drinks I paid for, the more Glenda drank. Geoff suddenly asked for our help to try and get people to dance on stage. This one guy went up and danced with this chair and ended up throwing it. Glenda got on stage with this ugly guy. Geoff yelled at me to dance too, but I was scared! He got really pissed at me because I didn’t dance. I decided instead, to line up songs for Nick aka DJ Ethan Waters, to play. We kept loosing Geoff. Kyle called Glenda back, and we stepped outside the area to talk to him. Geoff finally found us, and told us he was on the phone with TylAR. Glenda said “Ew” to that. This pissed Geoff off more, and then the fight started. Geoff got mad because Glenda was not a TylAR fan and when Glenda tried explaining herself, Geoff took TylARs side. It was one of those moments where I just wanted to disappear. I felt so uncomterable and could not believe that Geoff and Glenda were having a real fight, and they just met. Secretly, I felt Glenda was in the right, but I didn’t dare say anything. After the fight finally ended, Geoff walked away and Glenda wanted to leave. I didn’t disagree. We said goodbye to Nick and to Geoff and then headed home. On the way home, we realized that we had spent so much money on drinks that were a whole 9 cents short on toll money to get back into the US. The lady at the toll booth almost didn’t let us go!! But then she finally said it was ok. Thank God! We were almost trapped in Canada!

Current Mood: exhausted

Shortcomings
I woke up the next day and after about an hour, sent Slut Fucker the text that I had wanted to send him all night. It said “Well I’m glad you are happy. I hope you were telling me the truth because you should know by now, I always find out when you lie. I’m happy that your happy. You and me, haha, what a joke right?, I mean, who were we fooling”. Yes, I expected a text back, but instead I got a phone call. He said “That’s NOT how you start a conversation, you start a conversation with “Hey”, not the way you did!.” Then he said “You think we were a joke?” And at this point, he actually sounded upset. I was surprised. I quickly covered my ass and told him that I had just said that because I thought he thought that. I then told him how one of my friends had said they had seen him at the bar on Monday. He denied it all and then even told me I could talk to his boss. I finally convinced him that I believed him, but would not tell him the Married Man was the one who told me. After I got off the phone with him, Prof. Form called me and I told him about what had just happened. He asked me if I wanted to go with him to get his birth certificate so he could get into Canada. I agreed to go, and about 2 hours later, he picked me up. To Southfield it was, because that’s where he was born evidently. On the way, he told me once again, how he was going with his ex Nick to DJ Windsor pride the next night. I told him since I had to work, that I would meet him in Canada later on in the night. He told me how he missed Nick and how he didn’t like that Nick was now dating this Andrew guy from another state. Since Andrew would not support Nick being a DJ, Prof. Form was determined to. Prof. Form told me that he not only still loved Nick, but he also really loved his family as well. He told me that he felt conferrable being gay around them, and he could totally be himself all the time. In my mind the complications of making a relationship work had just expanded exponentially. When you date someone, how many people become emotionally involved? When you sleep with someone, are you sleeping with the whole family?

We got to the police station and went inside to obtain proof that Prof. Form had been indeed born, and not sent here from another planet. The foreheads working were very pleasant and very nice. 10 minuets, and one round of singing later, Geoff had two copies of his birth certificate. We then decided to go out to eat at TGI Friday’s. Our waitress was a forehead and looked like LaKeisha Jones from American Idol. She was very nice and perfect service. Our food was delicious and everything was perfect. Then at the very end is where it went wrong. Our waitress had brought us our change and we were going to leave a tip, but suddenly, she would not leave! Our waitress stood there and WAITED for us to leave a tip!! We were so taken back, I did not know what to do. Geoff wanted to leave her nothing, but I ended up leaving a small tip, being that she was standing right behind me. We hurried out of the place and to the car. Prof. Form was pissed! We could not get over what had just happened. We headed back to Troy and then Prof. Form had to get going. I headed home, and managed to book a dinner date with Glenda.
There we sat, Glenda and I, at Max and Erma’s in Birmingham. I ordered a drink. And we ordered our food. We had this really ugly Mexican server that took forever. Suddenly, I started to glance at this other server that kept walking by our table. He was very cute, and Glenda and I ended up asking him to bring us drink re fills and silverware. Throughout the night, he kept walking by and very obviously smiling at me. I smiled back as well. Form called and told me he and R were at CVS. I told him to come to Max and Erma’s. When they did arrive, R was very indifferent to Glenda, once again, and didn’t say a word to her. This made Glenda and I upset. They invited us back to the house when we were done eating. After they left, Glenda really wanted to know what R’s deal was. I really did not know. The hot server kept walking by and looking at me. Glenda finally decided that I was going to write my number down and give it to him. I was scared, so she did it for me. We motioned him to come to the table and I handed him the paper with my number on it. I had never done anything like that before! After we paid, we left and even standing outside, I still saw the server looking out and smiling back at me…I wondered if he would actually call me? Glenda and I drove to the R house. This was an event! Glenda setting foot INSIDE R’s house! This was an event of monumental proportions. At first she was scared, but I got her to go in. We hung out in the basement and watched Tall Form play Batman. R came down, and actually said a few words to Glenda! Then bitched because Form and I were planning a trip to Texas and she wanted to go. Soon Glenda had to leave, so she drove me back home. We decided that we thought R felt jealous of her or something like that. After Glenda dropped me at my house, I drove back over to R’s and played Mario World 2. Then I fell asleep on the couch.

Current Mood: accomplished

When The Past Returns....
Yesterday, I was suppose to call Slut Fucker, simply to remind him about court, I had not heard from him since I had sent him that text message after I found out that he tried to sleep with MA. Due to the fact that I didn’t have a voice, I didn’t call. I didn’t want him to hear me sounding like shit. I was at work, and suddenly Home Wrecker texted me and asked if I had called him. A few minuets later, someone called me. I figured it was Boater, or Form or someone. I looked at my missed calls. It was none other then Slut Fucker. He also had left me a voicemail. Nervous, I picked up the work phone and called my voicemail. His message sounded happy and said “Hey! Just wanted to see, how you were doing, call me back!” I freaked! I didn’t know what to do. I told my boss I needed to bum a cig off her and run outside to smoke. I ran outside and for the life of me could not get the cig to light. I texted everyone in the world, and called Home Wrecker and flipped out. Next I called Slut Fucker. He answered. I was firm with him I asked him what he wanted. He acted like everything was fine and said “Oh I just wanted to see how you were” I told him I thought I had made it quite clear to him that I wanted nothing to do with him. He claimed he never got that text I sent him telling him how I knew of the Mark thing. Typical, right? So I told him again that I knew and that I was very hurt. He told me he had been drunk that night, and sent those messages to a lot of people. I was still not believing him. I told him that court was on the first and that he better be there. He understood. Then I asked him why he was calling now and he said because he wanted to be friends. I told him he had been saying that for the past two months, but now he claims he was “ready”. He told me that we were now on a “Different Level” OH Really? Well that was certainly news to me! He told me that he didn’t come to my party because that night he was meeting his new boyfriends parents. Oh Oh the big “Meet the parents” Oh They have been dating a month!!! He claimed that he didn’t go out to bars anymore and that he didn’t do drugs and he really didn’t know why he felt the need to go do all that. Then he told me how he was at Sommerset the other day. He told me how he sent me a text and I didn’t reply. My phone happened to be off that day, but when I finally did get that text, I choose not to respond because I didn’t care. He told me he was in a better place now and that he was happy. Suddenly I realized that I couldn’t do it. I was trying so hard to get over him, and now hearing his voice tell me he was “happy” with someone else and saying “sorry for fucking you over” was too much for me to handle. He asked when I started smoking, I lied and told him a month ago. I quickly told him that I needed to go back to work and nicely asked him what he was doing later. He told me he was working so we couldn’t “hang out”…I was not going to ask him to hang out, simply to call me. He told me he would call me at 10:30...I hung up and went back to work. I started to think about how there was no way I could be his friend. It took me almost two years to get to a place with Asshole to where I would be okay being his friend. What made Slut Fucker think he was any different. I was trying so hard to find others and move on. I felt this moving on had been a race and I had just lost. I then I got to thinking about tense relationships, and by that I mean a relationship and its connection to the past, present, and future tense. At a certain age, we have all had relationships that are far from past perfect. But how much does that past relationship effect our dream of a future perfect? And as I became more and more tense, I couldn’t help but wonder, can you get to a future if your past is present?

Later that night, The Married Man and I went out to Menjos. I told him how Slut Fucker had randomly called me. He told me that Monday night, He had gone to Gigi’s and Slut Fucker was totally drunk off his ass, once again, without his boyfriend, and tried talking to him. That pissed me off. Slut Fucker had proven me right, in that I knew he would not call me at 10:30, and now I find out he was lying about being different. I spent the night not thinking about Slut Fucker, and focusing on the hot new shot boy. I also almost made out with a girl and reunited with Liz Gilkey and Jon Werber! What a night!

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Beautiful Liar

The One Where Animal Turns 22
Tonight was Animal’s real birthday and I agreed to go out to Royal Oak with her and her friends. Before hand, I went over to R’s where Form decided to have a get together. He invited Alan, and Grosse Point Alex over. I stayed for as long as I could, but I had to leave before the party went underway. I met Animal, Brian Animal, and Animal’s brother at O’tools in RO. Animal’s brother was leaving for the Marines tomorrow, and it was his last night in town. We tried getting him into the bar, but even in uniform the bouncer did not let him in nor did he believe he was a real marine. So it was just the three of us. We bought a few shots from one of the shot girls. Then we went to the bar and bought drinks. We got a table and Brian Animal bought a beer and Animal and I bought more drinks. Meanwhile, back at the R residence, Grosse Point Alex was driving everyone crazy. Alan picked him up and he spent the whole car ride talking about Greenfield Rd. Then once at R’s he wanted to try on Alan’s pants, and literally tried stripping on the patio. They invited him in and he ate all the food, and went and drank all the liquor even after Form had put it away. If all this was not enough, he told Form that his desk was a mess! This pissed Form off big time. Back in RO, Animal was wanting me to stay at the bar and drink more. We even talked of going to another bar and me crashing at her place, however, I had to work at 9 am, and needed to get home. Finally we left the 21 and up bar and I went to my car. I didn’t head home though. I drove to Livonia to see Jeremy.

When I got there, he could smell that I had been drinking and was not happy with me. I felt really bad. We were actually attending his friends grad party that lived up the street from him. I stepped inside the house and felt smaller then ever. There I was surrounded by high school girls and boys. All these people were 17 and I was now 21. They were like me in the fact that they were trying to hide the drinking that was going on from the girls mother. I got nervous and started texting Glenda, telling her where I was. Jeremy told me to stop texting, and I got the 5th degree from his friends about how I knew him and what my “intentions” with him were. First we had a run in with the aunt, who knew there was drinking. We found out the girl’s mom was drunk and went out in the street to find her. When she saw the drink in my hand, she questioned me as to where I got it and how old I was. I told her I got it from the closet, the margarita closet! After talking to the mom, we went to the back where there was a giant bonfire with more people sitting around it. After talking to some of the people there, Jeremy decided he wanted food. He and I drove to Burger King and got all this food for barely any money. We went back to the house and gave everyone what they ordered. Then Jeremy wanted to talk to the drunk parents some more. We found the mom and the aunt and we all talked with this kid who was going into the military because it was his “only choice” and if he stayed in Livonia he would “die”. I thought he was a tad messed up. Jeremy and I went back to the bonfire. He went to the tent they had set up behind the bonfire. Inside the tent is where they were pouring the liquor. I felt SO old! These girls were sipping for the first time! Jeremy was even having them hold their noses! Was I in my right mind for staying here at this party? Or was it too much of a “teen scene”? When you’re a teenage, all you want to do is buy liquor, but when your turn 21, all you want to do is get carded. I wondered, in today’s youth and obsessed culture, are the men and women of my generation growing into mature, responsible adults? Or are we 21 going on 17?

After Jeremy poured drinks for the girls, we went back to the bonfire circle. Suddenly these girls started telling me that I was going to have sex with Jeremy tonight and that’s why I was there. I was really upset by this and suddenly realized that I would not spend the night with Jeremy not only because I had to work, but because I did not want to prove the girls right. When Jeremy heard I was not spending the night, he looked very disappointed. About 40 minuets later, we left the party and headed back to his house. Once in his room, he made a list of everything he was thankful for. Then he made a note to himself that he needed to tell his sponsor that he had been pouring drinks for others. We tried putting on a movie and going to bed for a while, but there was one problem. His dog. His dog would not leave the bed. His dog was acting like an over protective boyfriend. Every time I would get close to Jeremy, the dog would jump up and get between us. Then he would lay literally on top of Jeremy and start licking his face all over. This went on for a while, and I got pissed. I finally just rolled over and went to bed. Jeremy woke up seconds later because his friend had started using again and could not stop. I finally managed to get a few hours of sleep. I woke up at 6 am and drove home. I still had to be at work by 9. I woke up and that’s when I felt sicker then ever….it was the start of a two week cold!

Current Mood: cranky

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